And The Drama Continues ...

So my mother decides she doesn’t want to drop “the boyfriend” issue.

She is still not giving up on try and getting me to stay home for the holiday. A couple days after the first half of the drama, I woke up and started getting myself together for work. She begins talking about how she doesn’t like the fact that I am going to Chicago and I need to stay home with my family for Christmas. I told her I spent the holiday with them last night and I would really like to spend with my boyfriend.

She then went on and told me I need to get some self respect. I couldn’t believe it. She then went on about how I can be with someone that would treat me this way and that she doesn’t want to bury a daughter. I then got loud and said he doesn’t do anything to mistreat me. We had one small argument she heard and how everyone argues. She then told me not to yell. So I said forget it. I let her say what she had to say, even though none of it was true. I guess it was making her feel better to say it.

Later that night, I went to one of my sisters and told her what she said and that I was very hurt that she told me I needed self respect (I actually got in my car on the way to work and cried). She then said maybe I should just let them meet him and see how a great guy he is and she wouldn’t think the way she does. I actually was FINALLY going to let everyone meet him sometime soon (Yeah, 3yrs is a long time to go) but got so pissed I just said forget it! But maybe she is right. Maybe I will let them meet him cause one thing that will get me straight fighting is to diss my man!

I will let you guys know how that goes!

P.S. I want to give a shout out to my gurl Carly! She is my #1 Blogger Fan!!!

Let Me Handle This

No relationship is perfect. Although we would all love to assume so. All couples get into little arguments every once in awhile. Some arguments are bigger than others.

Since my boyfriend and I do not live in the same state we really don’t have much to fight about since we don’t even see each other everyday. The most we really fight about is one of us will get angry the other person didn’t call or one is too tired to stay on the phone and talk. Real stupid stuff. Believe me!

Yesterday was a very lazy and laid back day for him and me. We haven’t spent lot of our time on the phone during the week because I have been working 65hrs a week and when I come home, I just want to go to sleep. So Sunday, we chatted for most of the afternoon. On the phone I learned that Brittany Murphy died by reading someone’s Twitter. I then began looking on the internet for more answers. I told him about it and he couldn’t remember who she was and I was giving him movies and he still didn’t get it.

He then started asking me all these questions and I tried to answer but he kept interrupting me then we got into a big fight on the fact that I’m tired of him ALWAYS interrupting me when I talk and he claims I interrupt him (He ALWAYS ALWAYS interrupt me … not the other way around). We hung p on each other and everything! Lol See, stupid stuff. Lol P.S. we made up 10min later.

Anyways, I woke up this morning getting myself together for work. I was in the kitchen and my mom came in asking me if I am still going to Chicago for Christmas. I answered back of course I am. She said even after all that fighting? I told her it wasn’t a big deal. We were hardly even fighting. She said oh no it wasn’t blah blah blah. She said well just don’t come home crying to me when you have a black eye. I was like woooooow!

I left to get some things out of my room to leave for work. I went into the kitchen for my lunch, and hoping the conversation was over. She had on the news and said how the woman on the TV is missing and her husband probably did it. I asked how you know I wasn’t yelling at him. How do you know I didn’t start the argument? How do you know if we did get into a fight, I wouldn’t throw the first punch?

She then said if I didn’t have such low self esteem I can find a better man who respects me. Excuse me? I have been with this man for 3yrs in February and it makes me so mad when people make WHO HAVE NEVER EVEN MET HIM makes up this crap that he is such a bad guy! And low self esteem, he has been the ONLY person in this world who has ever truly made me feel beautiful. If I have issues about the way I look it’s because of my sisters and my parents. I was hardly called my freakin name in that house when I was growing up. It was fatty this and fat hog that and now that I am older and I can actually love the skin I’m in and have finally found a man who loves the same…please believe I’m not giving that up. He gives me the utmost respect, never has laid a hand on me and no I am not staying because I believe I can’t find someone else but because of that fact that he does make me happy and yeah…we actually FELL IN LOVE! Someone actually fell in love with fatty! Can u believe it!!!

This is another reason why my family has never met my boyfriend. And if they keep acting like they will never meet him until my engagement party!

Update on Muah

Wow, it has been almost a month since the last time I wrote a Blog. Guess I have been a really busy bee!

So this month has been one with surprises...some good and some bad.

1st I know this is going to make some of you a little sad but… I took out my nipple piercings on 12-12-09. After I changed the bar bells and put in the rings it went downhill for my right nipple. I found out the piercer pierced me way too deep and behind my nipple. It was hurting and kept bleeding (Not a lot just a little). I was always in pain and I got very sick and tired of it so I made the decision to take them out. My boyfriend was sad but he understood. Maybe in another year I will get them pierced again (And of course go to a different piercer).

2nd I am so excited Christmas is coming. Not for the presents, not even to buy any gifts for anyone. But to spend Christmas with my loving boyfriend. I miss him so much. I am leaving Christmas Eve and will return Sunday. I love getting away to Chicago to be with him. I need time away from my family!

I realized this year I could care less about the gifts. Don’t care who spending money on whom. Yes, it’s nice but I’m over it. I guess it’s me becoming an adult. It’s for the kids. I want them to have a good time.

3rd So what happened to the financially stable Kristen that loves to save? What happened to the Kristen that had $2000 in her savings account and knew where her money was going? I have been spending so much its crazy. Some were car repairs and a lot was shopping, shopping and more shopping! My savings is now gone and I’m again starting from scratch. Thank God I don’t have any credit cards or any HUGE bills and can’t wait for that tax return coming up! Hope it’s good! So more saving and less spending!!!

4th So now that I have decided I need to calm down and save more, I do want to do something for myself once or twice a month just to spoil me for whatever reason … because I can! So I started getting my nails done and I freakin love it! My nails are freakin gorgeous and I can’t believe I went so long without having them done! I have had the French mani and right now I have pink and white….sooo pretty! I’m going to start posting pics soon!

I also started back into Scrapbooking. This summer I got into it but was only concerned with doing My Wedding. Well I defiantly stepped out of that phase and now want to do pics of my friends, family and of course me and my man! I am defiantly going to post pic of my finished pages and I hope you guys go easy on my cause I am a 1st timer! J

5th I was so saddened to hear about Brittany Murphy’s death. So tragic and I am learning that she may have even died of natural causes (Now I hear it may be because of her eating disorder). How natural is death at the age of 32 but if it’s your time to go Home it’s your time. My pray’s go out to her family. She was such a beautiful person an actress.

To all my new friends of my Blog, I love to stay up to date with everyone than just here on Blogger, so please follow me at http://twitter.com/LuvlyKristen. Follow me and I will follow you!

It's Too Deep

Its been 2 and a half months since I have had my nipples peirced. I went yesterday to get new jewerly. I really wanted rings. I went back to the same place I got them peirced and the same person put them in. He said my nipples were healing great.

This morning my right nipple was in a little pain. I thought it was probably because of the new ring and just felt that maybe the ring was making it painful. So I went to another place and starting checking out new rings. The woman piercer there, Lisa, checked out my nipple and she said it was pierced too deep. Its not through my nipple but behind it. Oh great. She said my body was rejecting the ring. She said the way to fix it is to use titanium rings. Give it another 2 months in and it should be fine and should heal the right way. She said after the 2 months and I want to go with something cheaper then I can at that point (The titanium rings were $50 for both) and if it was still being rejected I would have to take out the ring completly and let it heal and re-pierce it. Ouch.

So I got my new ones in now and I hope everything goes right because I love my rings and really dont want to have to go through that pain again. :(

I was a little but angry that the damn guy that pierced it acted like he didnt know anything was wrong and said the looked fine but right when Lisa looked at it she know what was wrong!

Just hope the new rings helps...

Un-Welcome Guest

Yesterday, my friend Carilyn and I went to Emagine theature to go see New Moon. It was amazing like I knew it would be. I love the theature we went to. It had an open bar and of course I got my Long Island (Thats my go-to drink now-a-days) and it was sooo strong and good! Yum!

After the moves we went over to Hooters to eat. I never ate there before but heard the food was good. Which it wasn't. I had a fish sandwhich and fries...fish was hard and the fries was under cooked. Never will go to again...

While we were there a mutual "internet" friend we talk to sent Carilyn a message asking her if he could join us (Im assuming he readd her tweet in knowing where we were. He said he works across the street and was so close so he stopped by). I met this guy on Yahoo Messenger...maybe in a chat room. I have talked to him on there for yeeeeears. But we never met. I have this thing that I keep internet friends...internet friends and real life friends....real life friends. How him and Carilyn met on the internet...niether her nor I really know the answer to that question. I have a HUUUUGE hunch: Me and him were talking over the chat one day about a party my friend Carilyn was going to...it was called the Black Party a lot of people here go to. He was going as well. He claimed maybe he knew her...I said I highly doubt it. Next thing I knew, he was following her on twitter...all of a sudden he's Facebook friends with her. I became a little bit angry cause I believed after he and I had that conversation that he took it upon himself to go to my Twitter (He & I are following each other) look for her, follow her and then look for her on Facebook. She doesnt know him. She didnt think anything of it because their mutal friend on Facebook is another guy she knows so she just think he added her because of him. Why I dont think so? Because this guy is a lame...while we messaged each other he constantly asked for pics of me, relationships, do I got a man, my friends I could hook him up with. Its like he was basically being a little desperate and my gurl is starting to feel the same way cause she now getting the same 21 questions. No, I dont think he is crazy...someone just want hold hundreds of conversations with you for more than 5yrs and never try and do something (As in asking to meet constantly)...just think he wants a little more female attention.

Back to the story, so once Carilyn told he could come (Which she really didnt, but she was being nice) he shows up 10min later like he was outside waiting for her response. All of a sudden he there standing saying hi...ummm ok. The conversation was ok. But for some reason it was just a little bit awkward. You could tell he was tryin to talk to my gurl and she def wasnt interested. lol I was getting a little drunk because I had another 2 Long Islands :). I asked him why he wasnt drinking. He said he had to get home and clean his apartment! I looked at my phone and it was around 8pm! I was like ummm ok. That made me think he was more of a lame that I thought! I then told him I would buy him a shot...just 1 shot. He said he used to drink all the time but doesnt anymore like that. Every now and then. Ok ok ok. So he didnt take it so I let it go. Our food came...he claimed his food was cold to get more food. Carilyn thought he was being cheap and wanted to get more food. lol

After eating, we went over to Lucky's. Its a fun place with lots of games and arcades...and a bar! We bought a card with money to play. We just paid $5. Carilyn thought a real gentleman would have padi for me and her to pay. I understood where she was coming from but it wasnt a date or anything...but I understood. We played some games. We then went to the bar. Carilyn got a drink. I just got water because I had to sober up to drive back home (Dont drink and drive!). All of a freakin sudden...he WANTS A DRINK! Im like I offered you that in the restaraunt and know he wants it! But I am a woman of my word...but he didnt want a shot. He wants a drink. I asked him what kind. For a person that used to drink allll the time, he had no clue. Dont remember what his favorite drink was or nothing...so you know what he got...Rum & Coke. I just started crackin up. I told him to get a man drink. lol He laughed and he still wanted it so I said fine. Carilyn had a small amount of wine left and he asked for it. I guess to front he could down it or something? Yeah...big man!

I can read people so well sometimes. I dont understand why he had to lie and say he used to drink all the time. With me, you dont have to lie to kick it. I have at least 1 friend that doesnt drink. I dont try and persuade her to. Im fine with it. Life goes on. lol He obviously didnt know what he wanted cause he didnt know what kind of drinks are out there...so he got the easiest one he could think of. And probably the lightest...just a baby drink...or maybe Im just an alchi! lol

So we are finally leaving and Carilyn and I are going to my car and he to his. On the way to my car, he claims he will walk us to my car. Im like ok. As we are walking, we dont even get to the parking lot...we are about to cross the street to get to the cars and he says "Ok see you guys later". I say "I thought you were going to walk us to my car". He said "ITS TOO COLD!" Are you serious? YOU volunteered to walk us. We didnt ask. And now all of a sudden its too cold? So we said fine. Bye. And we started walking (I was lauging...in disgust). He then says ok he will walk us but can I give him a ride to his car. I just looked at him...then looked away thinkin "Is this brother fo real?" By the time we got to my car, he says he is pretty near by and says he will walk. I give him a hand slap and say holla!

So it was a fun night....

Life After Death

Today was the funeral of my cousin's wife. Funeral's, of course, are sad. But, this was thee most saddest funeral I have EVER been to. There was not a dry eye in the chruch.

After her sudden death I started thinking about death myself. What happens after? Where do we go? Do we know we are dead? Can we see earth? What does it feel like to die?

I am a Christian. I believe in Jesus Christ. I know without Him there is nothing. I know Heaven is a beautiful place...peaceful, no hurt, no pain, no tears. But I am scared for not knowing when my time is up. How will I die? Like is so short. It's precious. Tomorrow is never promised. God never makes a mistake. He took my cousin for a reason. It was her time.

As a Christian, we just have to follow God as closely as possible. Follow his word. I have always been close to God but her death has made me even closer. Made me realize we never know when its time. I need to go to church more. Pay my tithes and read my Bible. I can't wait to walk through the gates of Heaven and when I meet God, I want Him to tell me I was a faithful servant and I have done good.

For those that don't believe or don't know about Him, please find the way. It only takes that 1st step foward...you have to want to believe.

Trust me, its amazing when you do.

Stay blessed everyone!

Trying To Help...

I have said in previous Blogs I don't have many close friends. And the close friends I have I try to best to keep them that way and do everything I can for them.

One of my friends have a mutual associate. This associate has done crap to both myself and her. I told the associate how we are not friends and the reason why. We will never hang out. But if she does talk to me (On Yahoo) I will answer but it doesn't go farther than that. I refuse to let people think we are cool as hell we when are not.

A couple months ago this associate camr to my gurl's home...unexpected...not calling...just showing up. Of course, she didn't answer the door. Just ignored it. My friend doesn't like coming and telling people they are not cool. Which is a little weird because she is pretty blunt with everyone else...but not to people that really need to hear it.

Today, I was speaking with this person online and she mentioned going to her house and her not answering the door. So, I just let her know. I basically told her that my girl doesn't consider her to be a friend and they aint cool like that and never will be. She then got very defensive and asked why my friend sent her a friend request on Facebook. I said I didn't know and all I could tell her was what my girl told me. She then got angry and wrote my gurl a message on Facebook. I was thinking "Oh great!" I was so mad at myself for putting myself as the monkey in the middle when I should have just kept my mouth shut...so I sent a text to my friend to give her a heads up of what just happened and she was going to get a message from her.

My friend then texted me back very irritated and that this was childish and she doesnt care and she is over the whole situation and I should have never said anything.

I felt horrible. Why did I say anything?

I then check my Twitter updates. My friend is updating her status with messages of her friend circle is getting smaller and smaller and she is okay with that. And that she is tired of fake people. Is she talking about me? This little thing I did...trying to help...and now she is calling me fake? Is it that serious? I never even asked. I didn't want to know the answer.

The next day I asked her a question about something different and before she answered the question she asked if I was going to say sorry regarding what I did or just ignore the whole situation.

I then apologized and said I was wrong. I then said if she was okay with having people come to her house unexpected and not say anything to them about them not being cool like that...fine. Its your business.

Was I that wrong? Me and my friend have never got into any kind of fight in the 11yrs we have known each other and to call me fake...wow! Hopefully she was speaking of someone else....

Next time I will know better...

Life Gone Too Soon

Monday morning, November 16th, 2009

My sister sent me a text, "Did you hear the news?"

I then said no.

She texted back, "Rebecca died this morning."

My heart skipped a beat. I couldn't believe it. Rebecca was my cousin...through marriage...she was my cousin's wife. She was a great person. Very nice. They had 4 great children.

It was a very sudden death. She was pregnant with twins and suddenly got bronchitis. She was coughing really hard and got a blood clot. She then passed out. Her husband (My cousin) tried to save her but she died in her arms while waiting for the ambulance.

My cousin just spent 2yrs in jail for gun possession and just got out a couple months ago. He was so happy to be back with his family. And now this tragedy. It's nothing but sadness right now.

Please pray for my family that we get through this.

She was 29yrs old.

R.I.P. Rebecca Denise Smith

Wrong Vs. Petty

Last Wednesday was not a good day for me at work.

Back in September, when I got my nipples pierced, I told a few co-workers. They, of course, were very shocked. One of my co-workers thought it would be funny to tell another co-worker whom is a man about them just to see what he will say...as a joke. So, I agreed. I IM'd him on the Yahoo Messenger and told him about it. Of course, he was shocked as well. The bad part of it is, I got into the conversation a little bit too deep. I got a little explicit. I basically just asked if he wanted to suck on them (Oopps) and he never really answered me (Thank God). I "lol" and changed the conversation and then it ended. I never asked for him to meet me anyway. I never asked for his number. I never went beyond that. It was COMPLETLY a joke and I thought he knew of this. I never spoke like that to him before and I thought by myself being so foward with it, he would know it was a joke as well.

Unfortunatly, he didn't. I saw him after work a few days later. I said hi and asked how he was. He then pulled out his phone and asked me for my number! I was shocked. All I did was smiled, said "huh" and acted like I didn't know what what he was talking bout. He asked me again and I said the same thing. He then became angry and said "Oh, you going to act like that?" turned and walked away.

I, of course, understood that he did take it the wrong way and thought I was coming on to him. Yes, I can certainly understand why. You just can't say certain things to certain people without them getting "feelings" for you. Some people you can joke around with and left will still go on normally. I tried to apologize. One time, I even went to his desk to say something to him and he actually gave me the "hand" and said "BYE!" (Yes, he put up his hand! Who still does that? lol). I tried IM'ing him again and he wouldn't answer me back! So I am certainly not about to bow down and break my legs to apoligize to this man and he is acting like a damn child and wont even talk to me. Yes, I dissed you but act like a man and grow up! After awhile, I began to say hi to him and he said hi to me. He acted like everything was fine and there were no hurt feelings.

Last Wednesday, my manager calls me in her office. She gets a call from the manager in Human Resources and she wants to meet with me and my manager about an instant message. At this time, I had no idea what she was talkign bout. That whole situation happened in September so I wasnt even thinking about it anymore. I got to the Human Resources manager's office and we sit down. She then goes on to tell me she is doing an investigation regarding a instant messenger conversation regarding "piercings". She named the person I was talking with and gave me the printed conversation to remind myself of it. My heart began racing! I just couldnt believe it! This man actually went to Human Resources on me! She then began to discuss Sexual Harrassment. She said I wasnt fired and that it wasnt really Sexual Harrassment but misusing work equipment on work time. But, she still wanted me to take a Sexual Harrassment course where it is her talking and let her know when I finish it.

At the end of the meeting, I was so pissed off! I was pissed off at myself for joking around like that. I was embarrassed my manager (Whom was another woman, but it still was embarrasing) had to read the conversation and know I am nasty like that (lol) and most of all, I was PISSED THE FUCK off because his grown ass knew I wasn't trying to harrass him. He was just pissed off cause I didn't give his ass my number and I dissed him! And he is being petty as HELL about the whole damn situation and thought to get back with me he would go to Human Resources!

So what if I DID give him my number? Would he still have gone to HR? I don't think so. I wouldn't even be writing this blog right now if I just gave that man my number and just made his day! He is a pissed off man and wanted revenge and went to try and take someone's job away as a result.

I was wrong ... but he is petty as hell. He needs to grow up. Rejection is a part of life. And now I see why his ass is still fucking single. He got a problem...a real problem.

Calling All BlackBerry Users

I have been wanting a Blackberry for EVER! Now that T-Mobile has these new and great plans and they have it where if you buy a new phone you can spread it out in 20 months to pay for it ... I am going for it! I think thats nice.

So here is my chance. My chance to buy the phone I have been craving forever.

The thing is...the newest Blackberry is supposed to come out soon (The T-Mobile Rep actually said next week) and its the 9700. But, I dont know if I should get it only because its new...therefore its going to have it glitches and stuff wrong with it and I dont have time to keep sending a phone back and forth. So, I could just get the lastest one out right now at T-Mobile, which is the 8900.

So, my fellow BB users, what do you guys think? 8900 or 9700? I hear the 8900 is just as great as well!

P.S. This may be a little bad. But the best thing I am looking foward to is my fantastic Twitter apps, BBM and other instant messenging features and the web that I hear is so great. So I really dont care too much about the acutal talking on the phone part. But with all this updated technology on phones today, I think a lot of people think the way I do. lol

Valued Life Lesson

I hate losing good friends. I hate losing good friends for stupid reasons. Most importantly, I hate losing good friends because of horrible boyfriends.

I had lots of great friends throughout my college career. One in particular was Shanna. We met my sophomore year and had a lot of things in common. We had the same major and had tons of classes together. I went to dinner with her other friends as well as outings and even to church. She was actually my only Christian friend in college that I could talk to about God. You can defiantly say we were pretty close. We even graduated from college together…sat right next to each other and took pictures.

After college we both went back to our home towns. We both grew up in Detroit. She still continues to live there but we still lived 15min apart.

Almost 2 years ago, I started my journey on finally getting my license (Yes, I got it at 24yrs old. I was a late bloomer), in which I did, and then started saving my money to buy my 1st car.

Up to this time, my parents and sisters were taking me to and work and they were not happy about it. I was CONSTANTLY getting yelled at because they were tired of taking me everywhere and always asked me again & again when I was going to get my own car. I had only $1500 and got really desperate because I wanted my family off my back so I started asking around to see if anyone was selling cars. Shanna told me about how her new “older” (31yrs old) boyfriend looks for cars and hooks people up all the time. He fixes them up and sales them. So I started calling him and asked him more about this “business” of his because I was now getting desperate for a car and needed help. Because I knew Shanna for 4yrs and I trusted her…I then trusted him.

That was my biggest mistake.

I told her boyfriend of the car I was looking for and my price range. He tells me he finds these cars at auctions and buys, faxes and sales them. He told me if could find me something but at auctions you will need something to put down so he needed $500. Being that I “trusted” him and he knew what he was doing (I knew been to a car auction in my life so had no clue on what went on at these) so I gave it to him. He then tells me he bought a white car (Forgot the name of it) and the price is $1500 and now the mechanic has it and he is doing whatever he needs to do on it.

He then tells me the mechanic needs more money to continue to fix the car. He wants $600. I then tell him I didn’t feel comfortable giving him this amount of money anymore and I haven’t even seen the car yet. So I made him sign a promissory note basically describing the intentions for the funds he is receiving and if I don’t receive a car within another month, I want all my money back. He signs it.

Unfortunately, I never received my car. I started calling him like a stalker ex-girlfriend to give me my money back…even threatened to sue. Her boyfriend continued to lie, lie and lie more about where the car was, that the car was getting still getting fixed, the mechanic broke his hand on something on the car and he couldn’t work (Yeah, I know). He even lied to Shanna and told her he did give the money back to me and she called me right after and I told her hell no!

Shanna felt really bad about the whole situation. She was the one who gave the Go Ahead to his “business”. She said he never did this to anyone before. She then told me she is in a bad spot of being in the middle and doesn’t know how to deal with it. So after that conversation, I stopped calling. It was obvious who wears the pants in that relationship.

So I sued him. He never showed up because he is a coward (And a lot more that I will not go into detail about) so I won. I then could decide how I would get my money back. Of course I wanted to take it from his checks. But I needed all this information in order to do it. And since I didn’t have the info I had to pay more money to do this and that. It just became a drag and a big burden.

Shanna and I friendship began to deteriorate more and more. We stopped talking. Before we stopped completely she even said she will pay me back with her tax returns. I told her that would be nice but that’s not her job. Her man took my money and continued to lie to her face and said he gave it back to me. If you don’t have honesty & trust in a relationship what do you have?

Oh yeah….she also lost her virginity with that piece of shit of a man and became pregnant the very 1st time. So now she is having a baby with a man that aint worth shit! And probably continues to lie to her. A man that will fuck over one of her best friends and don’t even freakin care.

I really wanted to reconcile the friendship I once had with Shanna. Before I deleted my Facebook page, I sent her a message. I wrote how I missed hanging with her and we should do something soon. Of course, it couldn’t be at her place (They lived together) but just go out and hang. She sent me a message back saying she was pregnant again (WTF, this was a girl that never wanted a man to touch her! She has sex one time and can’t stop having babies now, I guess) and of course I was shocked. I told her congrats and gave her my number and for her to please contact me back.

I haven’t changed my number in a year. She hasn’t called yet.

P.S. I eventually got the number of the mechanic that was working on the car (Don’t remember how) and HE actually did hook me up with a great car. It was a 1990 Buick Lasabre and I still drive this car today. I am now looking for something younger! Lol

Unfortunately, I never did get my money back. I just look at it as a very valued life lesson learned…

Never Trust Anyone

No Facebook And Life Still Goes On

I had read another Xanga Blog about her deactivating her Facebook account and I agreed with her entirely and I felt compelled to write my own.

I was on Facebook for a very long time. I still remember when it first came out. It was only for college students and I believe I was a Junior in college so it had to me 2005? Somewhere around or in that year. I didn’t get on it at first. A lot of my friends where on but I didn’t feel the need because I didn’t know what it was and nor did I care. Someone told me it’s just a profile where you add friends and leave messages.

Later on, friends were talking about it constantly…whether it was about a funny drunk picture or something someone said on someone’s wall. So I became intrigued and registered an account myself. I fell in love myself and it defiantly made the time pass by extremely fast while I was in college and waiting for another class to start.

Since I have graduated from college I have other responsibilities where I can’t be on the Internet 24/7. Thus, I don’t have time for Facebook. I also stopped communicating with a lot of my “friends” on there. I didn’t even talk to a lot of people through messages and no one ever contacted me so I felt what was the need? I am never on there and I am certainly not trying to keep in touch with anyone and the people I am close to and still in touch with knows how to contact me. I was getting even more tired of all the unnecessary emails I constantly got from people inviting me to events and trying to get me to join a group! It started to get very irritating. So, I basically stopped going on Facebook for weeks sometimes months at a time. Therefore, I decided to deactivate my account.

And let me tell you…people were APPALLED! They just couldn’t believe it!

“Why would you ever delete your account!?”

“Get back on!”

“Why would you do that? I cant live with out getting on Facebook everyday!”

“I cant believe you did that!”

How about because I have a life outside of Facebook!

Deactivating your Facebook account doesn’t mean you are deleting it, which I thought it did. All it does is “hibernate” your account like a little bear. You don’t get any more emails, no messages and no one can see your account and add you as a friend but if you feel that you want to get back on all you have to do is sign on with your old email and password and your profile is back like it was when you left it…same friends, same messages in inbox and same old messages on wall. And that’s what I did. During my “hibernation” I felt that I did lose communication with some people…like family and some friends! They wouldn’t answer text and pick up their phone but they answered you when it comes to posting comments on your wall. Which I thought was ridiculous!

After a year of “hibernation”, I decided to get back on the Facebook train and thought I would give it another shot. And it was the saaaaame way. Some things about it change but I still felt extremely bored. I just don’t care about people putting up drunk and funny pics or commenting on peoples wall so other people can read it. What really got me feeling weird is when people put up their whole life stories on their status messages. I am not one who cares to know about people tired of not finding love and women taking other women’s man! Sorry.

I was on there for a couple months and decided to again delete my account but this time it was for good. I also deleted my MySpace, which I actually loved but it’s the same either anymore.

I don’t feel any sorrow. I don’t feel any pain. And I am glad. I am glad my email box is cleaner!

There is life beyond Facebook….like Twitter! Which I love. People say its pretty dumb…BUT THEY DO THE SAME THING ON FACEBOOK…UPDATING THEIR STATUS EVERY 5 MIN…so what’s really the difference? Really?

Twitter to me is less stress. No pics. Its more simple. Its not just updating your status messages. You can also send messages to other people and there is always a topic to “twit” about which I love because some people can be so funny. The more people you follow, the more fun it can be! Please try it before you knock it… Follow me at www.twitter.com/luvlykristen. And I will love to follow all my Blogger friends also!

Praise Him The Almighty GOD

Disclaimer: I know this is an extremely touchy subject. I will try to make this blog “nice” as possible but please be aware these are my opinions.

One day I was on Yahoo Messenger and was speaking to one of my Yahoo/New Xangan friend. He brought up the subject of "YHWH". I had no idea what it was. He refused to tell me and told me to look it up. So I Googled it. It basically means “True Name of our Creator”. I didn’t say much after this but…”Ok okay”.

Don’t get me wrong. I am a Christian. I believe in God, our Lord Jesus with all my heart. I was brought up in a Baptist church, baptized and still participate in church when I am not working so much. My parents even met each other in the same church I go to now. All my relatives and grandparents go there. So you can say, I am a religious person.

He then went on and described “YHWH”…that it is was written down by Moses before he freed the captives of Israel from Egypt and that it is the “proper” name of God.

I read his Blog about it, here on Xanga, and he was including things from the Wikipedia Dictionary. Which I thought was thought was weird because if I were trying to persuade someone to believe something about God, I don’t know, I would look in the Bible. Not in the dictionary for concrete evidence. It’s all right there! Im just saying, you could find anything in the dictionary.

Being the Christian that I am I then told him, “That’s great. I am happy for you that you have found what you were looking for, but I am still going to pray to my God.” He then got angry and said, “You’re not ready to learn!” I even think he said something about being "brainwashed"...

First off, the 2 things I will never EVER debate about are RELIGION & POLITICS! Both are very controversial and I just rather agree to disagree because those topics will never go anywhere but to anger and grief and I really don’t have the time. Yes, if someone wants to sit down and seriously talk about my beliefs in my God or if they would like for me to hear things about their God, I would talk and I would listen. I have even listened to Jehovah Witnesses (But only cause I didn’t want to be rude and walk away). But I will not sit down and listen to someone that is going to try and persuade me to deter from the God I have been praising and worshipping to for 25yrs (Or however the age when I accepted the Lord into my life) of my life. It’s not going to happen.

This man said he has always believed in God but now he has researched further and found He was called another name. But why just still continue to call Him God if They are the same person? Why change his name because you read what someone wrote down in the dictionary? But that’s just me.

I am happy my friend found what he is looking for, but, please do not get angry and tell me “I am not ready”. I am not disagreeing that what he has researched is wrong. But I will say, I dont believe in it and dont want to hear anymore. So I said "Let's agree to disagree".

I have a very strong faith with MY God. I was always ready, been ready and can't wait to go home to be with my Lord because He is the ONLY one that will judge me on Judgment Day. I will believe what I want and he (my friend) will want he wants, but at the end only One Man Will Judge Us All! You can call Him whatever names if you want...to me he always was and always will be GOD.

Thank You & Amen!

Girly Girl Ova Hur

I just love being a girly girl!

I have been one since I can remember. When I was younger, I remember I couldn’t WAIT to get my first purse! Every woman wore one and that’s what I wanted! I believe I got my first purse when I turned 11. That was a big year for me…I started my period! All I had to put inside my new purse was 10 different lip-gloss’s (I was ADDICTED to lip gloss), maxi pads and a wallet with fake credit cards inside (Haha).

I wore my little dresses and skirts and always had my lips shining with tons of lip-gloss! You couldn’t tell me it was too much cause I knew I was so cute! You wouldn’t DARE catch me playing a sport with the guys or the “tomboys” or getting dirty! I was sitting down with the other girls, putting on lip-gloss and talking about boys. I watched my mother put on her makeup and couldn’t wait until the day I had my own.

I didn’t start wearing makeup until college. I really never had a reason why…but then again…who needs a reason!

Now I love wearing makeup. I started watching Make Up Artists on YouTube doing makeup tutorials and have learned so much. From the foundation to the blush and lipstick. They are amazing! My fav is Marlena and you can find her at www.makeupgeek.com! She is fantastic!

I just love everything about being a girl!

I love shopping and coordinating all my clothes. I am a fanatic when it comes to my jewelry and my purses…and makeup! Those are the 3 things I never let people borrow because if they don’t give it back…it’s going to be a problem. I rather have my clothes borrowed than those things. I just bought 2 purses in a week and I was so excited about them! My clothes, jewelry and purse all have to go together. For some reason I am not into buying shoes like a lot of women are. I can be satisfied with 2 pairs in every color of the rainbow. One in flats and the other in heels. That’s it. I don’t need the strappy thingy thing and knee boots. I just don’t care too much! Don’t know why.

I love putting on my makeup in the morning. I have been blessed to have great skin so I don’t need foundation (But I do put on when I am going to a special event) so I pick pretty eye shadows colors. Put on my eye shadow primer, and base, a pretty color on the lid, something in crease and a creamy highlighter. Put on a great outfit with dangly earrings and a great purse and I am set to go!

I just get excited thinking about it!

Who else out there is a girly girl??

Dont forget to follow me on Twitter! www.twitter.com/luvlykristen

Maxwell Concert

Maxwell was here last night in Detroit, MI at the Joe Louis Arena! It was FAN freakin TASTIC!

Chrisette Michelle & Robin Thicke also came along for the ride and they ROCKED the house as well! I love every min...well the performing part. They started an hour late. Chrisette Michelle was the first act then we had to wait 20min for Robin to come on...but it was defiantly worth it!

In my previous blog, Can You Please Ask , I wrote about how the girl that invited me to go expected me to drive and not even ask. Well, when I got to her house, I learned that everyone that went...DID have a car! I hinted around how I didnt want to drive and one of the girls said she just drives to everything and just didnt "feel like it". Which I can understand, but then again I was the ONLY one that drank. Can you please just give the drunk that wants to have a really good time a freebie and just do it!

I really got irritated when we went to a club, paid $15 and we just stood around for 15min! I really dont understand why people go to clubs that dont drink...I thought for the dancing but they didnt do that shit either...so beats me! I wanted a drink so bad! One of the girls said just have one and if I get too drunk someone else can drive. That was my que! Went straight to the bar! So, I I got myself a Long Island and then a Rum with Coke! I was pretty tipsy and loving it! lol

I thought my small high would come down before the end of the night, but I didn't, so she did have to drive back.

Next time she asks me to go out, I will def have my guard up. You just cant trust no one. I swear.

Tried to upload some pics wont pop up.

Ive got some more pics on my Twitter...Follow me to see them...www.twitter.com/luvlykristen

Aftermath Of My Nipple Rings

If you have been reading my Blogs, you would have known I have been thinking about getting my nipples pierced. On Sep. 12, I finally went and got them pierced! Therefore, it was been 4 days.

Many people have asked me, “Kristen, did it hurt when they were getting pierced?”, “Why are you doing this?” The answers are simple…HELL YES and because I wanted a small change. Here is the process:

I went to a tattoo/piercing studio called Detroit 313 Tattoos with my friend Carilyn. It was very nice inside and looked pretty clean. My piercer was a black man (For some reason I can’t remember his name at all). He was pretty cute and funny. We were the only people in there so we didn’t have to wait long. They told me I had to go with a “barbell” ring because it’s easier for new piercings and I can change after a month (I think I will wait after 3mths just to make sure its healed).

After I picked out the ring, I went in the room with Carilyn and the piercer. The room was very small and had a black chair that leaned back in the middle. There were jars of piercing supplies on the table, and sterilized clamps and needles in the sterilizing pouches and of course…latex gloves.

He put on his gloves and marked my ta ta’s with a marker. He then picked up a clamp and put it on my left nipple. He then told me this is the part most women hated most. And I know why…this damn clamp was pinching my poor nipple so freakin hard! It was VERY uncomfortable and hurt as he was trying to fit it correctly on the marks. Finally he picked up the needle and got close to the nipple with it. I then yelled “IS THIS IT!” He looked at me, laughed and said, “Yes” then he pushed it in my nipple! I yelled for dear mercy! It hurt like no other. There was no whatsoever good feeling when it came to that KNIFE going through my girls. I have heard of people passing out and thank God I didn’t. But when it was over I felt like I just was kicked in the stomach and got really hot. Lol He turned on the fan for me so I could cool down for a min while he got ready for the next. All this time my friend, Carilyn was taking pics of me with a face of SHOCK!

One down…1 to go…

He put the clamp on my right nipple. I told myself I have to really get ready for this one. I put both my hands on my hips like someone was about to charge at me and said again to him, “IS THIS IT?” He said yes and I was ready. But to my astonishment, this one hurt way more than the last! I felt like it lasted for a whole min! I have no idea what was in that nipple that wasn’t in the last one that made it hurt so much more. I remember wanting to move his hand if the pain wasn’t going to stop. But it finally did! And when it did…I was exhausted! And I was breathing hard. I laid my head back on the headrest and just chilled for a min. I was so glad it was all over. I finally looked down at my breasts…they looked so pretty! I loved it!

Then as I started moving I noticed how much PAIN I was in. The piercer has to help me into my bra. While he did so he said, “I have helped women out of bra’s…but never into a bra.” He was so cute.

So he told me I had to wash it 3 times a day with soap and water and I should be straight…come to think of it, he never told me for how long…but I guess I can Google that information. Lol And also to move the ring around because crust can build up (Ewww).

Four days later and the soreness are going down now. I don’t feel it when it rub against my bra anymore either (That sucked). The only time I really feel anything is when I am cleaning them. I saw blood only a tiny tiny bit one time when I cleaned it on one of my nipples. I am kind getting tired already of cleaning them though. 3 times is a lot…I clean in my shower in the morning and at night. Its just hard to find a time to clean mid-day because I work a 10hr day.

It does have its perks. My nipples are now very sensitive and can get hard very easily and when they do it really feels great. It feels like someone is slowly pinching them. I love it. At my job it can be extremely cold here (Even when its 74 degrees outside) and they have been getting pretty hard here at work and I can feel them getting hard from start to finish! I love it! I am just scared for the winter time when it is REALLY cold!

I do have to add that I did have to put on a bra when I am around the house and when I sleep. I have big breasts and they were hurting so bad the day and the day after I got them done, I started cuffing them with my hands while I walked around because the rubbing against my shirt was irritating them. And defiantly when I slept to keep them in one place (I have also read other Blogs about nipple piercing around the internet and noticed this is very common for us to do).

So it has been a great experience. I am glad I had a fun person to pierce my girls and made me feel at home and I am REALLY glad I didn’t pass out! I researched thoroughly via internet and friends. I know 4 other females that have them and they all said the same thing, "It hurt like hell...but it was worth it and I love them." So, why not?

Of course, I will keep all my Xanga friends informed of more of my “Nipple Healing Process”!

P.S. Any of my female Blogger’s that are thinking bout getting this done, please feel free to send me a message to ask anything and I can defiantly send you some pics of me new nipple ornaments as well!

He's Out Of My Life (Rated PG-13)

You ever sit down and talk to your girls or guy friends about past relationships and laugh. Laugh about how you could ever talk to that person because now he is such a loser and not doing anything with his life. Or because she is now the slut of the town and you can’t imagine what interest you ever saw in her? Or maybe you have just grown up so much and can’t even imagine that person was your “type”?

I was talking to my girl today and we were talking about past men we have been with and so glad we don’t even talk to them anymore…

Before I met my boyfriend I was talking to a guy. He name is Reggie (And yes, this is his REAL name!) and unfortunately he was not close to looking like Reggie Bush (Haha) but that is not why I liked (And I use this word very lightly) him.

I met him while I was in college at MSU. He was music major and that was the LOVE of his life…and I am POSITIVE it still is!

We had a class or 2 together and he got my AIM from Facebook (Damn Facebook) and started to message me. He continuously asked me out so finally I said…what the heck, lets get a free meal and get this over with (I know…kinda mean…but don’t act like you never did it). The date actually went pretty nice. He was pretty funny, attractive and had a nice smile. So we began “talking”.

Now, during this time is when I graduated from college and before I got the job I have now. So, I was basically broke as hell and looking for employment. And he knew this when we started talking. After we go on a couple of days he then begins to tell me that he wants to go out to dinner more but I declined because of the fact that I didn’t have any funds and I didn’t always want him to pay. He then tells me how I “need to contribute more to the relationship”. I told him what do you want me to do? Go rob a bank? I am unemployed and B R O K E! And then he starts to make little side remarks saying when I do get a job I am going to need to pay him back!

So, we basically stopped going out to dinner. One day he calls me and says if I have any money to go get something to eat at T.G.I.Friday’s. I say noooo. So what does he do? He goes by himself and then CALLS me from the table while he eats!!! Telling me how good the food is and how he can’t get enough of it. I told his ass to call me later!

Another time, he wants me to come back to his apartment. He lived about an hour away from me near Flint, MI. He picks me up and we are on our way. When we finally get to city (I forgot where he lives) and he is hungry. So he wants McDonald’s. He claims he doesn’t have any money on him, so he asks me if I would care if got something from the Dollar Menu for me. It really wasn’t a big deal, but then he got a big ass Big Mac meal for himself and SUPER-SIZED IT! Lol We got back to his apartment and he is SMASHING this food! I didn’t even get a damn drink to wash my shit down with! This is when the 1st thought came through this fella may not be the man for Kristen Renee’!

Maybe I could take him being so freakin cheap if he was laying down the pipe…but he wasn’t CLOOOOSE! I love to talk about sex. Nothing surprises me about it and I am pretty open to a lot of things…but he didn’t want to do anything. You know what all he wanted to do? Kiss and FINGER ME! And when I say kiss…I mean closed mouth and with your lips puckered…yes, like a freakin smooch! He told me he didn’t like the taste of another woman’s tongue. I wanted to ask him, “What are you?” What man doesn’t like a good sloppy kiss! He didn’t eat pussy. I asked him about it and he said, “Pee comes from that”. I almost fell out! And he doesn’t have sex either. This is a 25-year-old man! But then it all came clear. Before me, he only had sex 1 time which was 4yrs prior to me and the person he had it with was a virgin also and I guess somebody did something wrong during cause they never fucked after that! So maybe he was just a little inexperienced and shy…and let me tell you something else...a woman can be fingered so much! I had to fake it just so he would stop! I wasnt into it anymore after a certain point, therefore, I would get dry and I guess he being so inexperienced he didnt know (But who can't grasp that a woman is not moist anymore) and kept doing it. And I would be sore for a week cause he kept jabbing his damn finger in me so damn hard! lol FUCCCK!

He always asked me what would I do if he told me he didn’t want to have sex and I answered that doesn’t mean anything if I really liked the person and I would respect that. But he never came out and said it. I just wished he was honest because the whole situation could have been better and I defiantly wouldn’t have been talking about sex so much either. Lol

We also argued a lot. Over stupid things. He always, always, always had to have the last word on everything and that irritated me more than anything! I don't like aruging and I dont like confrontation about petty things.

I was telling my friend I cant IMAGINE how it would be if I was still with him. Well, I know I wouldn’t be. I need more and he defiantly wasn’t doing it. And I am not saying I want to be spoiled and taken out to dinner every night, but I don’t want my companion to be cheap. I am not anywhere near being cheap. If I want something I get it, if I have the money to spare. If my boyfriend needs or want something I will get something for him without hesitation. I need to know if I ever do need something I know I can go to my boyfriend and know he got my back. Nor do I need sex. But damn…is it soo good!

Another thing I believe about relationships is both individuals have to be on the same level when it comes to intimacy. Wheather the couple is both virgins or one is a freak out of this world and the other doesnt like to be touched all the time. It has to be the same. Because if it isn't, I strongly believe that is when one person starts to have "wondering eyes" and will get it else where...if you know what I mean. I know that is not the truth about every single person in the world but it's very important in a relationship. I have seen some fall apart because of that 3 letter word. Therefore, even if we stayed together it would not have been right. Yes, I can respect if he wanted to want longer...but how long? I love sex and I think it is beautiful and I am happy I am finally with someone that thinks it is has beautiful as I do. My boyfriend and I are very SATISFIED (I know this is random but do anyone remember that scene from Clueless where Dee is saying her man is satisfied even though they dont have sex...just thought of that for some reason lol) and I know he will never stray away hungry...not for that reason!

Anyways...

And I do hope he has found someone who hates all the same thing he does...I think she will be pretty hard to find, but maybe she's out there...

Any of my Blogger friends have any past relationship’s that you were sooo glad you let get away? Haha

P.S. Another time we went to a Dollar Show movie...he refused to pay. No lie. And it wasnt a big deal. That was all the chunk change my broke self had at the time...so yes I paid $2 for us.