Relationship 101

A lot of my friends and even some male co-workers have been coming to me about their relationship problems.  No, I am not a counselor, now am I educated in any way to give advice on relationship but by myself being in a 4yr committed relationship, I do indeed feel that I have some good points to point out. With that being said, I'd like to share my insight based on my own personal experiences... 

 ... Never tell your relationship business to your single friends or your friends in general for that matter. I truly believe that whatever goes on in your relationship should stay in your relationship (Only if your man is beating you, of course, then that would be a good time to speak up). Other people opinions should never get wrapped up into someone's head. When my boyfriend and I first got together, there were so many people asking me if this is what I wanted because he is 10yrs older and has 2 kids. A person is with another person for a reason. Not because someone told you to be. Keeping your relationship private is the best thing a couple can do. Usually people just want to be nosy and want something to gossip about. And yes, there are your close friends who just want to see how everything is. And even if something isn't right...I keep my mouth shut because I don't want other people opinions in my head. I don't want to hear it AT ALL. I haven't told even my CLOSEST girlfriends things that happen in my relationship. And it goes with married couples as well. Everyone has different ideas on how to handle a situation. But the only person that should matter is your spouse and talking about your differences will also make a better relationship.

Which leads me to...

... When things get rough, talk about it. This is a real big thing that I live on in my relationship. You will always have tiffs here and there. No relationship is perfect, but communication is KEY. Never have built up anger that last for ever how long. It is healthy for yourself or the relationship. Talk it over. Talk about what happened and what made you both so angry. Hopefully after this talk, you both will not what NOT to do and what to AVOID saying or acting on and won't have the same fight again...

... "Don't make him a priority when you are just an option." This statement is true for many reasons. Never make a man or woman a priority when you are just something "to do" or be around when they are bored or just have enough time to fit you in to their busy schedule. I know so many women that are CLINGING on to the hope that this "one guy" will finally come around and notice them. They are doing this and that for this guy, buying him things, inviting him places, calling him all the time...and he is NOT doing the same back. Not even giving this person the attention she is craving. It's sad.

 ... Honesty & Trust. Without these two, there is no relationship. These 2 are a relationship's foundation and what you build on. If you can be HONEST with someone you claim you are committed to for life or for ever how long, who can you be honest with? And WHY would ANYone by in a relationship with someone they can't trust? Unfortunately, there are women that have low-self esteem, think they are so in love and can't leave this person. My long term relationship that I mentioned before...is also a LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP (Which I will talk about more in another post) and boy is it hard. But we are mad in love, we trust each deeply. He is my best friend in the world. I trust him completely as he does with me and if we didn't have that...we wouldn't be together.

Like I said before, I am not a counselor nor a professional as a Relationship Expert. No, your relationship may not be perfect from these points I have posted but, in my opinion, they do work in building your relationship as you and your spouse grow together and become ONE.