Friends...How Many Of Us Have Them...

Hello All. . .

First and foremost, let me make it ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY clear that I am not taking ANY subliminal shots at ANYone. This post is about past experiences of  what I have encountered over the past few years.

The topic today is FRIENDS. "Real" friends. How many of us have them? That statement is true in more ways than one. I came up with this topic today because of a situation that made me think about who I hang with, the people who I call "my friends", people who I stuck by for years and the stab me in the back...

Webster dictionary defines Friendship as: Pronunciation: \fren(d)-ship\Function: noun

Date: before 12th century

1 : the state of being friends 2 : the quality or state of being friendly : friendliness

Now, contrary to that definition. I believe the meaning of friendship goes a tad bit deeper. Now granted., I don't believe I have been the best of a friend at a time, or the most dependable, or even the most concerned friend. At times, I get so caught in my own problems and my own world that I neglect my "Friends". But one thing I can say, is that I do in fact have a big heart, and any of my real "friends", can contest, that if they ever needed anything I would give it to them and more if I was able. Thru out my life, I've had many friends. Guy friends, girl friends, short friends, fat friends, black friends, hispanic friends, asian friends, ghetto friends, smart friends, ho-like friends, gay friends...and the list continues. I've had fall out with friends, friends that have stabbed me in the back, friends that have had my back, friends that betrayed me, friends that kept it real. Point is, I've experienced it ALL. Needless to say, all of us have had different type of friends and have different friends that they have for different situations.

With that being stated, life has taught me that you cannot call everyone your FRIEND. It may seem like common sense to some, but in all actuality many people hang out with others and confide in them, not knowing that their "friends", may not always have their best interest in heart.

I believe soley that your friends, tell a lot about the type of person you are. But if you have a mainstream of drug-dealer (For example) friends, and you engage and support their activity, then what does that really say about your character? My definition of a friend is someone who will tell you the truth even when it hurts, but you know that they only tell you out of love, someone who will seldomly talk about you behind your back, and be sure to let you know they said it, someone who will keep your secrets and not use them against you, someone that has the ability to make you laugh, comfort you and help you in the worst of times. . .the list can go on. Some one who is there for you unconditionally and will accept you for just the way you are.

Thru out my 26 years on this earth, I've had many encounters of friendship. I've had seasonal friendships, childhood-friendships, friendships based off past relationships. I've come to learn that true friend ship comes a dime a dozen. But as I got older, I realized that friendship--well false pretenses of friendship can be a tricky thing. You have those that smile in your face and then as soon as you walk away, they are dragging your name thru dirt. You have those that only want to be your friends because you have something the way or need. . .and as soon as they've used you for all your worth, they've dissapeared. It's scary loosing friends, or even finding out that people you thought had your back no longer do. But truth of the matter is, THAT'S LIFE.

Even the truest of true friendships can stand the test of time,
regardless of the place, season, situation, sexual preference, life decisions....

So the moral of the story goes--watch who you call a friend. And CHERISH those who are your true friends.

  

Relationship 101

A lot of my friends and even some male co-workers have been coming to me about their relationship problems.  No, I am not a counselor, now am I educated in any way to give advice on relationship but by myself being in a 4yr committed relationship, I do indeed feel that I have some good points to point out. With that being said, I'd like to share my insight based on my own personal experiences... 

 ... Never tell your relationship business to your single friends or your friends in general for that matter. I truly believe that whatever goes on in your relationship should stay in your relationship (Only if your man is beating you, of course, then that would be a good time to speak up). Other people opinions should never get wrapped up into someone's head. When my boyfriend and I first got together, there were so many people asking me if this is what I wanted because he is 10yrs older and has 2 kids. A person is with another person for a reason. Not because someone told you to be. Keeping your relationship private is the best thing a couple can do. Usually people just want to be nosy and want something to gossip about. And yes, there are your close friends who just want to see how everything is. And even if something isn't right...I keep my mouth shut because I don't want other people opinions in my head. I don't want to hear it AT ALL. I haven't told even my CLOSEST girlfriends things that happen in my relationship. And it goes with married couples as well. Everyone has different ideas on how to handle a situation. But the only person that should matter is your spouse and talking about your differences will also make a better relationship.

Which leads me to...

... When things get rough, talk about it. This is a real big thing that I live on in my relationship. You will always have tiffs here and there. No relationship is perfect, but communication is KEY. Never have built up anger that last for ever how long. It is healthy for yourself or the relationship. Talk it over. Talk about what happened and what made you both so angry. Hopefully after this talk, you both will not what NOT to do and what to AVOID saying or acting on and won't have the same fight again...

... "Don't make him a priority when you are just an option." This statement is true for many reasons. Never make a man or woman a priority when you are just something "to do" or be around when they are bored or just have enough time to fit you in to their busy schedule. I know so many women that are CLINGING on to the hope that this "one guy" will finally come around and notice them. They are doing this and that for this guy, buying him things, inviting him places, calling him all the time...and he is NOT doing the same back. Not even giving this person the attention she is craving. It's sad.

 ... Honesty & Trust. Without these two, there is no relationship. These 2 are a relationship's foundation and what you build on. If you can be HONEST with someone you claim you are committed to for life or for ever how long, who can you be honest with? And WHY would ANYone by in a relationship with someone they can't trust? Unfortunately, there are women that have low-self esteem, think they are so in love and can't leave this person. My long term relationship that I mentioned before...is also a LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP (Which I will talk about more in another post) and boy is it hard. But we are mad in love, we trust each deeply. He is my best friend in the world. I trust him completely as he does with me and if we didn't have that...we wouldn't be together.

Like I said before, I am not a counselor nor a professional as a Relationship Expert. No, your relationship may not be perfect from these points I have posted but, in my opinion, they do work in building your relationship as you and your spouse grow together and become ONE.

Giving And Feeling Blessed

Think about the people God has placed in your life. They’re not there by accident. God brings people to you for a purpose. We should live with this awareness that, “I am here to add value to people. I am here to help them succeed.” Don’t go around always thinking, “I wonder what that person can do for me. I wonder what they have to offer.” No, we should have the attitude, “What can I do for them? How can I help them come up higher? Can I teach them something I know? Can I connect them with someone who can help them?” Don’t make the mistake of going through life ingrown. Instead, be a dream releaser. Use your talent, your influence and your experience, not just to accomplish your goals, but to help release a dream in someone else.

Remember, there is nothing more rewarding than to lay down at night knowing that you helped someone else become better. You not only fulfilled your purpose for that day, you did your best. It may have just been a two-minute phone call where you encouraged someone; but when you live as a dream releaser, you’ll see your own dreams come alive as well!

Dear Future Husband,

As I'm looking on the inside, I see the breaks, tears, and rips. Not sure where they came from. Just knowing they need to be fixed. From guy to guy. Hurt to hurt. I'm beginning to wonder if I'm even fit for this.

I cant seem to find where I fit right in. Most guys are great when you meet them , but after a few weeks its a new story.

I know I'm not perfect , but I don't ask for much. I want to be love respected and honored. I need to feel I to matter. Perhaps I'm just a handful. A little too much of one for these guys now days. I demand too much maybe. I've sat back and let a guy control and I lost myself in the middle of it all I promised myself Id never do that again. Its almost like I cant find the perfect guy for me. What seems to be perfect changes in minutes.

I want to feel happy for the rest of my life. Not because of a guy ,but because I want to be happy. I don't know if you can fully give a guy what he needs or wants , but I know when the time is right Prince Charming will sweep me off my feet. I can truly say that gifts and flowers don't completely make me happy. I need to find joy in a males emotions.

I love so hard when I love a man...

Dear Man, whoever you are out there...wherever you are... I love you. For I'm your future wife, and I want to marry you. I want to fulfill what it is that you need from a wife. I'd never cheat on you. I'd never make you feel uncomfortable. Well at least I'd try my hardest. I know there's no such thing as perfection, but, for you I want to be that. I want to be that perfect wife. Hopefully, one day I'll fill those shoes. I'm into love and fairy tales, but I'm not into a forced one that maybe after all was just in my mind. I guess you sold me thoughts of you that I thought were true. I learned along the way that maybe I don't know all of you. Your an amazing guy, but there's just some things you do that confuses me. Things that hurt me. You openly do on purpose, and then admit it was dumb. Please don't be sorry with me if your not sorry. I'm woman enough to accept that you feel different and we don't agree. Its not right to just appease me with those "I'm sorry" words. I know I fall deep so quickly. Maybe that's bad. I jump in head first so excited because I think I've found the one. But perhaps I'm a fool. I just want God to lead me in the right direction.

Dear husband , wherever you are...I'm your wife and I cant wait untill we meet.

Love truly,
My heart and soul....

New Blog Design

How cute, clean cut and professional is my Blog now! I think it is AMAZING and I can't believe it's MY blog! I even have a cute signature too! I got this Blog custom made for me by Noor over at So Sweet Designs.

Noor was super nice, fast (A lil over a week) and she is so talented in what she does. Just look at this blog! All I had to tell her was my vision and she went from there! You can also see other Blogs she has done and a whole list of her Blog Packages at her site. She even has some free templates that are too cute! I researched a lot of different custom design sites before I found her and her prices are VERY reasonable when compared!

So, if you want a great, professional and fancy look to your blog, please pay a visit to Noor's site and trust me...YOU WON'T REGRET IT! :)

Driving Irritates Me

I was a VERY late bloomer when it comes to getting my license and driving. Reason: I was TERRIFIED of semi trucks. I still am a little bit. I always KNEW how to drive. My dad is even a driving instructor so I drove with him a lot. When I turned 24 I finally passed my road test (Took me about 5 times. Had major trouble BACKING UP into the spot) and saved up to buy my own car (1990 Buick Lasabre) which I have had for almost 3yrs now. I do love finally being able to go anywhere I want. Not having to ask anyone if they can take me here and there. But, boy, are things starting to really irritate me...

Because of my small fear I still have of semi trucks, I RARELY drive on the freeway (AKA Expressway in some cities...depending on where you live, I guess) so I take the roads everywhere. The roads I take to work are pretty much very slow because I go through some small cities. Its starting at 30mph then eventually goes up to 45mph but thats not for awhile. I have gotten sooo many tickets for speeding and I am so tired of paying those fuckers so I am doing the speed limit...maybe going over 5 if I really know there are no police around...

1) ... But I HATE people that have to speed and go soo fast KNOWING that its 30 or 35mph. Get on the damn freeway yif you want to go over. Thats whats its for! Where are the cops when you see all these speeders? Guess they just come around when they see my Buick.

2) ... I also hate people that are trying to get to where ever the hell they are going that they have to swirl in and our of lanes back and forth from car to car! This pisses me the fuck off I dont know why. Sometimes I wish I was side by side with another slow car so we wont let the fucker through. OMG I can't stand that so much! GET ON THE FREEWAY or to a bigger street with a higher mph!

3) ... Sometimes the speeders are not the problem. Sometimes...its the people who go UNDER the speed limit! If you can't hit at least what the speed limit is...get off the road. You shouldn't be driving. Get someone else to take you or get on the damn bus. POINT, BLANK, PERIOD. Because that's' how accidents start with people driving wayyyy to slow!

4) ... Signals are great invention...along with the car. It's there for a reason. I, personally, don't feel that I should use mine unless there is someone behind me to let know I am going to turn. Which makes sense...TO ME! But making people stop hard because you want to be an asshole and turn when you feel like turning...and sometimes a SLLLOW ASS TURN that takes 5 damn min is UNACCEPTABLE! Fo real!

5) ... And don't let me get started on the tailgating. I don't do this AT ALL and this is the truth because its WRONG! When I was learning how to drive with my dad he always told me "If you don't see pavement between the car in front of you and your bumper...THEN YOU ARE TOO CLOSE" And that is the truth. Why do people do this? Do this do this to irritate other people because it works! It really really does! Sometimes people are soooo close I can't even see their HEADLIGHTS anymore because they are too close to my damn bumper! That's insane! Back up! One of these days I am going to stop on purpose and GET PAID OUT MY ASS!I am starting to realize how some people get so much anger and road rage. People out here are CRRRRRAZY! They are in a rush to get everywhere and it's not safe. That's another reason why I stay my ass off the freeway. I don't care if it's a "safe way to drive". Not to me. I'm straight. People going 70 + mph...No Thanks!Be safe out there everyone!

100 Question Survey

Years ago when I was OBSESSED with MySpace, I used to do Surveys ALL the time. Made the time go back quick and they were just fun. I am defiantly going to start doing them again and, of course, posting them on this Blog. It gives you guys a chance to get to know me better and makes the time here at work go faster! Here it is:

... THE BASICS ...

1. Name? Kristen
2. Gender? Female
3. Sexuality? Heterosexual
4. Age? 26
5. Height? 5'3"
6. Weight? Excuse me?
7. Eye color? Brown
8. Hair color? Brown
9. Race? Black
10. Piercings? 3
11. Where? All in ears
12. Tattoos? 0

... YOUR CRUSH ...

13. How long have you known this person? My boyfriend, Pete. Known for 4yrs
14. How did you meet this person? Over the phone...
15. What made you like him/her? Personality
16. Does (s)he have any piercings? 2 in ears1
7. Does (s)he have any tattoos? No
18. Smoker or nonsmoker? Smoker
19. Favorite thing about this person? He is so funny
20. Does (s)he know you like him/her? Yes. He IS my man!
21. Does (s)he like you, too? Hope so

... WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ...

22. Color? Blue
23. Flower? Like them all
24. Type of pants? Sweat
25. Type of shoes? Comfortable
26. Tv show? Right now, any Reality TV show
27. Song? Any slow song :)
28. Movie? Bridget Jones's Diary
29. Food? Shrimp & Chicken Pasta
30. Game? 0
31. Candy? Reeses Cups
32. Book? The Bible
33. Place to go? Park
34. Website? Twitter

... THIS OR THAT ...

35. Burger King or McDonald's? McDonald's
36. Subway or Firehouse Subs? Subway
37. KFC or Popeye's? KFC
38. Pizza Hut or Domino's? Pizza hut
39. Chocolate or vanilla? Vanilla
40. PINK TEAM OR BLUE TEAM? Blue
41. White or black? White42. Dark or light? Light
43. Right or left? Right
44. Wet or dry? Dry
45. Cold or hot? Cold
46. Sunny or rainy? Sunny
47. On or off? On
48. Top or bottom? Bottom
49. Up or down? Down
50. Against a wall or against a door? Wall
51. In the closet or out? Out
52. Covered or uncovered? Covered
53. Radio or cd? CD
54. Sony PSP or Nintendo DS Lite? Sony
55. AIM or MSN? AIM
56. Laptop or desktop? Laptop
57. Private or public? Private
58. Rich or poor? Rich
59. Love or money? Love
60. Sharp or dull? Sharp
61. Hard or soft? Soft
62. Thick or thin? Thick
63. Long or short? Long
64. Water or fire? Water
65. Crayola or Rose Art? Rose Art
66. Emails or letters? Emails
67. Sidekick or Blackberry? Blackberry
68. Prepaid or monthly? Monthly
69. MTV or BET? MTV

... LAST ...

70. Picture you took? Pic of my mani & pedi
71. Thing you bought? CD's off Ebay
72. Person you talked to? My co-worker
73. Person you called? My boyfriend
74. Person who called you? My boyfriend
75. Text message you received? Too many
76. Text message you sent? Too many
77. Clothes you wore? Slacks and sweater
78. Type of underwear you wore? Granny...they comfy
79. Thing you said? "I wanna see the girl he's marrying"
80. Show you watched? Some show on VH1
81. Place you went? Work
82. Thought you had? "My period is coming"
83. Dream you had? Don;t remember

... HOW MANY DO YOU OWN? ...

84. Cell phones? 1
85. TVs? 1
86. Computers? 1
87. Dvd players? None
88. VCRs? None
89. CDs? 20
90. DVDs? 15
91. Pairs of shoes? Who knows
92. Belts? 0. I hate belts
93. Watches? none
94. Rings? 5
95. Necklaces/chains? Too many
96. Bracelets/wristbands? Too many

... AND FINALLY ...

97. Do you regret taking this survey? Hells no
98. Are you glad it's almost over? Yes!
99. Would you do it all over again? Yes
100. Will you post it on your page? Yes

The Girly Girl That I Am

I have ALWAYS been a girly girl. Always have on the lipgloss, makeup, love my purses to match my outfits, love dressing cute etc. I love getting my nails done and a pedi every once in awhile. Now that Spring & Summer is coming I'm really getting into the nail polishes again. I got this fab color at this nail shop. Its an O.P.I. color (Sorry, forgot to get the name of it) and I love it!

Had a great weekend! Looking at another apartment tomorrow morning. I'm excited!

For Japan with Love - Bloggers Day of Silence

  Today, I'm participating in a Bloggers Day of Silence to raise awareness about the heartbreaking situation in Japan. For more information, please go to the link specified in the flyer or to Utterly Engaged. Additionally, a site has been set up for donations through the For Japan with Love site. 

What Happened To BLOGGING?

I've been Blogging for years and my blogging as always consisted of my life.

Of course, over the years things change. People started blogging about celebrity gossip, fashion, health and beauty etc. Which is great...if you are into that sort of things. Since I started a new Blog here on Blogspot I, of course, wanted to follow other Bloggers. I love getting in on the insight of what people are doing, how their day went, did they find the love of their lives that day. But as I look through this site at everyone's Blogs there are TONS of Blogs about fashion, makeup, interior design even mom's have their own kid blogs about their kids (So surprised its so many of those), which is FANTASTIC! Kudo's for those people and the readers that love it.

What happened to JUST blogging about your life, your day. I rarly see blogs like this anymore. Maybe I'm a bore or something but those are interesting blogs to me. Fashion and designers are ALL over TV. Which I watch a lot of so when I come to my Blog site, I don't wanna READ about it. And I LOVE makeup and I'm becoming great at it. But I like looking at makeup tutortials on YouTube. I rather see it done than read about it.

I am still going to look around the site to find more blogs of my interest and I really hope I do. I understand everyone has their own sense of what blogging is and what they want to write about but I just wish I could fine more on what I'm used to.

That's exactly what my Blog is going to be about. My life. From day to day. My joy and heataches. What ticked me off that day and who got on my nerve. What made me cry and what made me smile. And some pics will be along the way.

My Blog is REAL.

Lots To Do

I feel like my life is so hectic right now and that I have so much to do...

1) Right now, I am saving for an apartment and hoping to move beginning or middle of May.

2) As well as LOOKING at apartments and furniture.

3) I am also going on a Cruise to the Bahamas 1st week in May so I am putting down the rest of the money on that as well as looking for plan tickets to where the ship will be docked (Michigan to Florida).

4) I am also making plans with another girlfriend for a trip to Vegas in September which I will be paying on soon.

On top of all that, I'm working 10hrs during the week and 4hrs on Saturdays and when I come home from work I am working out trying to lose some weight for the Cruise. And I'm doing Insanity...NOT EASY! So I'm also tired all the time.

THEN On top of all of that, I need MONEY to do all of these things. So I'm working my ass off, saving, trying not to spend a lot so I can save more. I just feel like so much weight is on me right now. Unfortunatly, I do not have parents who can help me out or anyone...just me.

But its defiantly my descions to move and take all these trips because I'm young, not married, don't have ANY kids and work...so why not spoil myself!

Missing In Action

Wow, can't believe it has been almost a yr since I have blogged! I have defiantlly been MIA. Sorry to all my followers who have been wondering where I have been.

I am still working, still saving my money, still doing me and trying to get by in this place we call LIFE!

I hope everyone is doing well and in good health! Except some great Blogs from me in the near future about none other than MYSELF!