Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Ex-Lover/Ex-Boyfriend Doesn’t Equal Friends?

Since I was 18, I have had two boyfriend’s (One is including my current boyfriend) and some guys who were just some hook-up’s every once in awhile. Some people I have lost touch with…not on purpose, but because I may have lost their number or other contact information. My ex-boyfriend emails me every once in awhile just to see if I am still alive and to say hi and that’s about it. I have never had a problem keeping in touch with an ex-boyfriend or anyone that I have had some form of an intimate relationship with. It never really bothered me, nor did it concern me thinking the conversation would be awkward or “mixed feelings” would come back.

That being said, I recently (Recent as in yesterday) came into contact with an old “friend” of mine. At the time, I was single and just having fun in meeting new guys. We only went out on an “official” date once, but had numerous conversations and lots of laughs. We had sex a couple times, but I still considered him being my friend. We were not close to being in a relationship, nor had we discussed it, but in my eyes we were chilling.

During our conversation via Yahoo Messenger, he told me how he was so surprised he was hearing from me. I asked why and he said because of our “relationship”. I told him “Well, yeah, we fucked but we still had good conversations and I thought we was cool” and he agreed but then he told me that he felt awkward talking to me and that he normally doesn’t stay in contact with past “lovers” (This was his word. Didn’t think we were making “love” but I guessed he was trying to be polite and not say fuck buddy) and ex-girlfriend’s.

I then thought “Wow” and told him if he felt that way I won’t have to contact him again. He said okay and that was it.

After our conversation, I felt like he stepped on my pinky toe. I thought we were on a more friends’ basis, but I am assuming from that discussion that I was dead wrong. It goes to show you can have such a great time with someone and have great chemistry and conversation and believes you guys are BFF’s…but in the end that person could be thinking something more different than you will ever know.

It sucked for me for a minute, then I was telling my friend Kyle about it and he pulled me back to reality. He told me to basically fuck him and that I have a great man anyways and I shouldn’t be worried about that. Which is so true.

Just wanted to know of my readers out there…Has anyone made a decision they were never going to talk to past “lovers” or ex’s? How did you come up with this decision? And why?


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